I felt a momentary twinge of sadness, regret even, when I
noticed that the college graduations happening over the weekend were those of
my son’s former classmates. Four years
already? Was my first thought – how could it have been four years since his
high school graduation? And then, the sadness.
Sadness that we are not celebrating Chris’s college graduation. Sadness that his plans were interrupted. Sadness that life sometimes throws a
curveball.
How could we have known that day Chris came home after his
sophomore year that the sleep deprivation he suffered was caused by nighttime
seizures? Or that by following the brain mapping road we assumed would lead to
brain surgery and a cure ultimately left Chris in the same place as before but
with two years lost?
And then, it was gone.
My brief flirt with self-pity and regret was replaced with
gratitude. I mean, really? I was
mourning the loss of a diploma and a party.
What I have instead is a son who is being transformed by God and his
circumstances into a young man of grace and sincerity during these years of
uncertainty.
Although he struggles daily with side effects from his meds
and we don’t really know if he is still experiencing seizures in the night
hours, in many ways Chris is thriving.
His experience dealing with what can be a debilitating and sometimes
fatal medical condition has left him with a renewed vision for his future. Each day he accomplishes something that
brings him closer to owning his own business; with entrepreneurial dreams he
looks to the years ahead with hope and not dread.
What about you? Have you been haunted or filled with regret
by what you see as lost days, weeks, months or even years? God sent a big fish to interrupt Jonah’s
life, then caused that fish to carry Jonah right to where God wanted him. Your “fish” (situation) has been carrying you
to the exact place you need to be when you are released from it. You might say that epilepsy is Chris’s fish,
the time spent inside it is shaping him to be the man he needs to be. This time is not lost time, it’s grace time.
Just the other day Chris asked me if there’s a Bible verse
that speaks to moving
forward and forgetting the past. I gave him this:
“…Forgetting what is behind and
straining toward what is ahead. I press
on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in
Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14
Yes. I can learn a lot from this young man.
