Stereotactic Implantation yada yada yada...

The reality of surgery is that you are never quite prepared for what it really looks like.  Or feels like.  The surgeon can tell you all he knows about how the procedure is done and how you will feel when you wake up, but really, until you experience it, you will never know.

I'm sitting in the ICU right now, watching my head-bandaged 20 year old son sleep.  His face bears a 5 o'clock shadow of whiskers, outright denying my motherly instinct that this is just my baby lying there.  This is my baby.  My big, 6 foot 4 inch, 240 pound baby of a young man who is insisting on moving forward with brain mapping in the hopes the doctor will find exactly where in his brain this pariah of a misfiring neuron lies, so that it can be removed. Forever.

Even with all the surgeries various members of our family have endured, I forgot to remember that surgery is surgery and there is inherent uncomfortable-ness that goes along with it.  If I could be lying in that bed instead of Chris, I would.  If I could take on the intensity of his post-surgery headache, I most certainly would.  But I must just watch.  And wait.  And trust God for his mercy.  And hope that the doctors are making all the right moves.

So here we are, in Phase 2 of the brain mapping process to determine whether Chris can have resection surgery to remove part of his brain.  Remove part of his brain.  Yeah, just let that sink in for a minute.

The order was for "stereotactic implantation of depth electrodes into the cerebrum."  Ten electrodes were planned for; only nine made the cut, so to speak.  The tenth incision gave the doctor too much trouble with bleeding at the incision site, so he nixed that one.  Better safe than sorry.  I like this guy.  The brain mapping part will commence after an overnight in the ICU and a follow-up MRI in the morning.  Chris will be bed-bound for about a week.  Meds will be reduced until he starts having seizures.  They need to see about 3 or 4 episodes where they can clearly determine the origin of the spark that ignites the storm.  The misfire.  The pariah. 

So it can be removed.